Speaking Followup
This Monday, in accordance with what I stated in the previous posting, I gave a presentation at UCSB about how we value digital information, and how value is directly related to the degree of abstraction the piece of media afforded. The presentation went OK, but I would not say that it was a stellar performance on my part. I was thrown off by the lack of people in attendance (its easier to speak to lots of people than to few) and I just felt off my game.
I suppose a large part of that was being back in Santa Barbara. I hadn’t been in SB since the precise day we moved out of our apartment, which happened to be the day after I graduated with my MFA. I do not know why I hadn’t been back, it just never happened. Driving up to Santa Barbara though I was reminded about why I wanted to leave in the first place.
Santa Barbara is a beautiful city, and a beautiful area. Living up there is tantamount to having a permanent vacation. The days blend into each other, weekends are endless and the weather never, ever changes. Amy and I had no regular schedule and so we rolled with the things put in front of us rather than plan and predicate decisions on end goals. The problem with this is self-evident. In an environment like this, progress is hard to come by, as there exists no external stimulation to drive one out of comfort.
The cities of south Santa Barbara County are a pocket of civilization in the middle of gorgeous nothingness. Its a self-contained environment, similar I guess to towns in the midwest, but altogether dissimilar from Los Angeles. Living in Los Angeles for 6 months now, I’m accustom to frenetic energy, movement, blurred boundaries and this never-ending question for the eternal Something rather than contentment for Nothing.
Being put in this environment again, then speaking to 35 students who live there was strange, as I felt we were on completely dissonant wavelengths. I spoke, they didn’t listen, or didn’t register what I was saying. When I taught at UCSB, I suppose the experience was the same, but I was in the same school of lax thought that they were. This time, I felt like I was pulling weights behind me while speaking, exasperated by the lack of involvement people had in anything.
I did however get to see Marko, who even though was in my wedding, I haven’t seen since June. He has an adorable 9 month old baby which I am glad Amy didn’t see, as she would want one right now. Not that I don’t want kids mind you, just not yet. Little Boris, so cute.
I think what my visit to Santa Barbara did is remind me on a fundemental level that my life is completely removed from the past. I can mark my three years in Santa Barbara as a time of growth in distinct ways. I went up there just dating Amy, and left married. But it is the past, and I suppose being back in that environment made me realize that I can’t really go back to the years of 23-26 anymore than I can to 18. And neither would I want to. I’m six months into an amazing job, thinking seriously about having kids, buying a house, etc. The life I lead has no direct correlation to the one six months ago as these decisions are now possible to make.
Santa Barbara to me will always remind me of a time in my life that external influences were subjugated beneath my need to find myself and my place within the larger framework of the world as a whole. I figured out who I was, and then I left. And I think that now I just AM. I’m 26 years old, which statistically (and genetically) means I have maybe 60 years on this planet to do something.
And that something started out as soon as I drove down the 101. Permanent Vacation? Got to get away.
Well I did read yr. post about the lecture and I was planning on heading down there. But work intervened and I couldn’t. And I understand about Santa Barbara being lax to the point where you get nothing down. I live just 90 miles north in San Luis Obispo, which is about 50,000 people smaller so you could imagine the attitude towards time here is even worse. But I’ve found that I make the most of the time I have by doing the things I enjoy, even though I work about 10 hours more a week up here. But damn the women are the biggest distraction of all! And I know anybody on the central coast could vouch for that, that and the beaches!
Hellllo Ethan,
Personally I felt that your lecture was organized, stimulating, and well executed. For the most part I know that I was more confused by the breadth of the course rather than your particular presentation–the theory is often hard to relate to clear examples and we didn’t know what to expect from that day. I think you hit the nail on the head when you described SB’s closed off world, and hearing about life after college for us students who have yet to find our majors/selves is pretty frightening. I’ve only been in SB for a little over a year, but the vibe really sinks in deep and our laid-back routine was interrupted. Yet it was refreshing to think about theory’s applications along with digital media’s role in art. I’ve strictly dealt with drawing and painting while digital media has always been that scary other, but I’ve recently started to accept (and research) it’s role in the art field. Basically, I thought I’d give you some feedback and let you know that your point about value versus abstraction was understood and that the lecture did interest a good portion of us (based on my fellow students that I talked to).
PS. Our final was a paper that was due the previous week, so that may explain the low attendance and lack of enthusiasm.
Hi Ethan,
I was one of the students in Art Studio the day you came and lectured at UCSB. Jen’s post above is accurate in saying that we enjoyed the lecture and understood the points you were touching on. The fact the my fellow classmates and I are leaving comments on your website should be a sign that we were interested enough in what you had to say to follow up and read your blog. In your description of our class the day you came and taught, I feel like you are selling UCSB students short as slackers who could care less about school. As an alumni of UCSB, you of all people should know that despite our apparent lack of enthusiasm towards class, we study hard and get good grades while enjoying an active social life at the same time. It’s one of the best features of the Santa Barbara lifestyle. So next time you lecture students who have already finished the course for which you are lecturing, don’t jump to conclusions that our lack of enthusiasm is a sign of a lack of intelligence.